In
which I talk about why I am glad I am not a woman.
which I talk about why I am glad I am not a woman.
To start
with, there’s a few little reasons why I think being male is better.
Going to the toilet is more convenient; having to make less effort in
my appearance is easier (though I should definitely make more
anyway); and not having periods is probably something I should be
grateful for (they sound fairly bad). Having to give birth is another
reason I’ve seen commonly given, but I don’t think I would mind that
– I’m sure it’s a bit inconvenient and hurts a lot, but it’s also
awesome.
with, there’s a few little reasons why I think being male is better.
Going to the toilet is more convenient; having to make less effort in
my appearance is easier (though I should definitely make more
anyway); and not having periods is probably something I should be
grateful for (they sound fairly bad). Having to give birth is another
reason I’ve seen commonly given, but I don’t think I would mind that
– I’m sure it’s a bit inconvenient and hurts a lot, but it’s also
awesome.
But these
are fairly minor things and I’m sure there’s upsides too. For
example, putting effort into appearance has benefits as enjoy getting
ready together and generally look better than men. A female friend
suggested that it’s worse for a guy to be a bit chubby than a girl,
and maybe she’s right with that. Girls are generally able to be more
emotional (there seems to be a bit of a stigma about men showing much
emotion) and I also find that the “fairer sex” are in
general, better conversationalists than men.
are fairly minor things and I’m sure there’s upsides too. For
example, putting effort into appearance has benefits as enjoy getting
ready together and generally look better than men. A female friend
suggested that it’s worse for a guy to be a bit chubby than a girl,
and maybe she’s right with that. Girls are generally able to be more
emotional (there seems to be a bit of a stigma about men showing much
emotion) and I also find that the “fairer sex” are in
general, better conversationalists than men.
These are
far from exhaustive lists, just a few thoughts about smaller
differences that I had. But as well as these relatively small
differences, there are some bigger differences and things I would
have to deal with if I were female. I’ll go into these in a bit more
detail…
far from exhaustive lists, just a few thoughts about smaller
differences that I had. But as well as these relatively small
differences, there are some bigger differences and things I would
have to deal with if I were female. I’ll go into these in a bit more
detail…
I was
thinking last week that if I were female, I would definitely do
athletics, parkour, and some sort of martial art (an effective one),
and I think all girls should1
probably do this (not that I’m being
sexist, I think the same about men!). I was going to write that this
is because women are more at risk than men, but I did a bit of
research and it’s a massive minefield and I can’t say that (because
it’s probably untrue). I would have presumed that women are easier
targets because they are, on average, less physically able
(size/strength), but statistics suggest otherwise: the British Crime
Statistics survey said that men were twice as likely to be victim to
violence as women2
. Without very targeted research, it’s hard to
know if this is because men are more at risk or because women take
less risks (ie walk around alone at night less often), or maybe
because this violence includes when they are partly to blame (so men
getting in fights with other men from arguments, which probably
happens less often to women), or maybe because when women are a
victim (say of a robbery) they are less likely to resist or because
the robber might pre-emptively attack a man to be sure.
thinking last week that if I were female, I would definitely do
athletics, parkour, and some sort of martial art (an effective one),
and I think all girls should1
probably do this (not that I’m being
sexist, I think the same about men!). I was going to write that this
is because women are more at risk than men, but I did a bit of
research and it’s a massive minefield and I can’t say that (because
it’s probably untrue). I would have presumed that women are easier
targets because they are, on average, less physically able
(size/strength), but statistics suggest otherwise: the British Crime
Statistics survey said that men were twice as likely to be victim to
violence as women2
. Without very targeted research, it’s hard to
know if this is because men are more at risk or because women take
less risks (ie walk around alone at night less often), or maybe
because this violence includes when they are partly to blame (so men
getting in fights with other men from arguments, which probably
happens less often to women), or maybe because when women are a
victim (say of a robbery) they are less likely to resist or because
the robber might pre-emptively attack a man to be sure.
Aside
from the statistics though, women definitely feel less safe walking
around alone at night, and that feeling (even if unfounded) is
probably a horrible feeling. Males in general (or at least this one)
don’t appreciate this enough. For example, yesterday I was walking
home from the supermarket and saw a (female) friend ahead of me,
though I wasn’t entirely sure it was her, so walked alongside her and
glanced across a couple of times (it was raining and dark, she had an
umbrella and my hood was up). When I revealed myself, she said she
had got scared that I was some creepy guy. It’s hard for men to
understand this feeling as it doesn’t really apply to us, but if you
can’t imagine being a female walking around on her own, what about
being an ethnic minority walking around a racist area or a football
fan of another team in a city where there’s a big rivalry? How
terrible is this – that a girl can’t walk home from a club in the
dark on her own without feeling fear? Answer: very bad!
from the statistics though, women definitely feel less safe walking
around alone at night, and that feeling (even if unfounded) is
probably a horrible feeling. Males in general (or at least this one)
don’t appreciate this enough. For example, yesterday I was walking
home from the supermarket and saw a (female) friend ahead of me,
though I wasn’t entirely sure it was her, so walked alongside her and
glanced across a couple of times (it was raining and dark, she had an
umbrella and my hood was up). When I revealed myself, she said she
had got scared that I was some creepy guy. It’s hard for men to
understand this feeling as it doesn’t really apply to us, but if you
can’t imagine being a female walking around on her own, what about
being an ethnic minority walking around a racist area or a football
fan of another team in a city where there’s a big rivalry? How
terrible is this – that a girl can’t walk home from a club in the
dark on her own without feeling fear? Answer: very bad!
That’s
just violent stuff. Arguably a bigger problem is sexual violence (a term meaning “non-consensual sexual activity”, as this is more general than rape, violence refers to the sexual contact instead of usual physical violence). Although some research
suggests that there is more male rape than female rape (though rape
is underreported due to stigma and hard to convict due to evidential
problems), a huge majority of the male rape is in prison, so outside
of prison in normal life women are much more at risk. It’s a really
terrible, terrible thing that this is something women have to worry
about.
just violent stuff. Arguably a bigger problem is sexual violence (a term meaning “non-consensual sexual activity”, as this is more general than rape, violence refers to the sexual contact instead of usual physical violence). Although some research
suggests that there is more male rape than female rape (though rape
is underreported due to stigma and hard to convict due to evidential
problems), a huge majority of the male rape is in prison, so outside
of prison in normal life women are much more at risk. It’s a really
terrible, terrible thing that this is something women have to worry
about.
Recent
statistic was that one in five women in America have either been
raped or attempted to be raped. One in five. In Oxford, apparently
the number was at 7%. I can’t believe these figures because they’re
so high, I want to think it must be a mistake somehow. It’s
ridiculous that being groped isn’t surprising in clubs (though
apparently Oxford is much better than the other places). This should
not be the case.
statistic was that one in five women in America have either been
raped or attempted to be raped. One in five. In Oxford, apparently
the number was at 7%. I can’t believe these figures because they’re
so high, I want to think it must be a mistake somehow. It’s
ridiculous that being groped isn’t surprising in clubs (though
apparently Oxford is much better than the other places). This should
not be the case.
So
although women may be less likely to be victims of violent attack,
there’s a chance they can be victims of sexual violence.
Presumably, this is a much worse experience: the violation goes
further than just a robbery or attack due to its sexual nature and is
a much more intimate invasion. Being attacked is scary and can have
lasting effects; being a victim of sexual violence is (probably, I
haven’t checked statistics) far more likely to have a negative mental
affect on the victim in the future. Even though being sexually
assaulted while out at night isn’t that likely, the consequences can
be very bad and the fear surrounding it is justified.
although women may be less likely to be victims of violent attack,
there’s a chance they can be victims of sexual violence.
Presumably, this is a much worse experience: the violation goes
further than just a robbery or attack due to its sexual nature and is
a much more intimate invasion. Being attacked is scary and can have
lasting effects; being a victim of sexual violence is (probably, I
haven’t checked statistics) far more likely to have a negative mental
affect on the victim in the future. Even though being sexually
assaulted while out at night isn’t that likely, the consequences can
be very bad and the fear surrounding it is justified.
Aside
from these there are a few other reasons I’m glad I’m not female.
from these there are a few other reasons I’m glad I’m not female.
One is
all of the different small sexist behaviours which are commonplace in
our society, such as sexist jokes and catcalling. Again there is
often some misunderstanding from the people who do it, explaining it
as “just a joke” and women shouldn’t be offended, or that
women should be pleased that they are considered attractive enough to
be hooted at. When I was a teenager I didn’t like talking in front of
an audience and used to blush really easily, and there was a short
period during which whenever I answered a question in a lesson,
somebody would say “Look – he’s going red!” (and I would
promptly go red). This was a fairly small problem, but it was
slightly unpleasant. I imagine that if I were female and had to put
up with sexist jokes all of the time, it would become quite
unpleasant. Sexist jokes may be “just jokes” on their own,
but because they are so prevalent they add up to much more. I’m glad
that these aren’t something I have to deal with.
all of the different small sexist behaviours which are commonplace in
our society, such as sexist jokes and catcalling. Again there is
often some misunderstanding from the people who do it, explaining it
as “just a joke” and women shouldn’t be offended, or that
women should be pleased that they are considered attractive enough to
be hooted at. When I was a teenager I didn’t like talking in front of
an audience and used to blush really easily, and there was a short
period during which whenever I answered a question in a lesson,
somebody would say “Look – he’s going red!” (and I would
promptly go red). This was a fairly small problem, but it was
slightly unpleasant. I imagine that if I were female and had to put
up with sexist jokes all of the time, it would become quite
unpleasant. Sexist jokes may be “just jokes” on their own,
but because they are so prevalent they add up to much more. I’m glad
that these aren’t something I have to deal with.
Another
is the career difficulties and treatment of women differently in a
professional way. I’ve heard it said by some women that they weren’t
listened to because they were female, but when a male suggested the
same thing it was listened to. There are obvious problems with
careers for women (less promotion, less pay, sizeable discrimination
in some jobs) which I don’t think I need to go into. I’m glad that by
being male, these aren’t problems that apply to me.
is the career difficulties and treatment of women differently in a
professional way. I’ve heard it said by some women that they weren’t
listened to because they were female, but when a male suggested the
same thing it was listened to. There are obvious problems with
careers for women (less promotion, less pay, sizeable discrimination
in some jobs) which I don’t think I need to go into. I’m glad that by
being male, these aren’t problems that apply to me.
Women
are, in general, treated worse in our society than men. In other
societies, they are treated as animals or worse. I saw a film last
week about women in Afghanistan and how they are treated with
forced/arranged marriages and hardly any rights. In some countries
women aren’t allowed to drive or own property or be out on their own
or are forced to cover their face. In some countries, rape victims
are punished more than those who raped them. This is dire; it’s so
revoltingly wrong that I despair for humans when I read and hear
about these things.
are, in general, treated worse in our society than men. In other
societies, they are treated as animals or worse. I saw a film last
week about women in Afghanistan and how they are treated with
forced/arranged marriages and hardly any rights. In some countries
women aren’t allowed to drive or own property or be out on their own
or are forced to cover their face. In some countries, rape victims
are punished more than those who raped them. This is dire; it’s so
revoltingly wrong that I despair for humans when I read and hear
about these things.
So I’m
glad I’m not a woman because they are, to some extent, treated worse
than men, and selfishly, I’d prefer that not to happen to me.
glad I’m not a woman because they are, to some extent, treated worse
than men, and selfishly, I’d prefer that not to happen to me.
It’s terrible that this is the case, and though progress is being made, there’s still a lot more to be done. Awareness is an early step in fixing the problem, and that’s what I’m trying to help with here.
PS1 The
extent to which women are treated worse than men is, in my opinion,
more than negligible. Yes, there are situations in which women are better off than men, and those are something to be addressed too, but in my opinion men have overall the better deal.
extent to which women are treated worse than men is, in my opinion,
more than negligible. Yes, there are situations in which women are better off than men, and those are something to be addressed too, but in my opinion men have overall the better deal.
PS2 This is all obviously my opinion, I’ve probably made mistakes, and I am talking about it as an outsider (not female).
PS3
I’ve avoided the “feminist” label because I’m undecided if
I am or not and the label has some negative connotations and baggage.
The important thing is that I think that men and women should be
equal, that I think that in general, women aren’t treated equally,
and that the female cause needs to be championed to help against
this.
I’ve avoided the “feminist” label because I’m undecided if
I am or not and the label has some negative connotations and baggage.
The important thing is that I think that men and women should be
equal, that I think that in general, women aren’t treated equally,
and that the female cause needs to be championed to help against
this.
1 “should” in the sense that in current society, it’s probably prudent, not that
in an ideal world they should.
2 https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/116352/hosb1210-chap3.pdf
3 A term meaning “non-consensual sexual activity”, as this is more general than rape↩
Why might you not consider yourself a feminist? In various shape it has always been a means for gender equality, which of course historically means a fight against an eternity of patriarchal oppression (I'm inferring that the 'negative connotations' have to do with the characterisations of misandry, no?). Still I don't know why any sensible person wouldn't consider themselves a feminist.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9swKKZy0CCM